In 2006, I did not have a mentor sitting across the table. I had my best companion since childhood, my books.
I had just moved to Qatar to begin a career in HR. Everything felt new. The systems were different, the workplace was different, and I was trying to find my feet in a country that was still unfamiliar to me. I didn’t know the people, and there wasn’t someone who could sit me down and tell me, “This is how you build a career here.” What I did have, almost by accident, was a copy of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.
Looking back, I realise that book became my mentor for the next seven years. I didn’t read it once and put it away. I kept coming back to it. The summary stayed pinned where I could see it every day, and over time those habits stopped being ideas on a page. They slowly became part of the way I worked, thought and led. Long before I knew the phrases self-leadership or inner work, this book was quietly teaching me both.
Be Proactive changed me first. Instead of waiting for work to be assigned, I started preparing in advance. I stopped waiting for opportunities and started creating them. In a new country, where nobody knew my name yet, that one habit probably did more for my credibility than any qualification on my CV.
Begin with the End in Mind changed how I made decisions. I stopped looking only at the problem in front of me and started asking myself, where do I actually want this to lead. It taught me to think beyond today, and eventually that became the way I led teams as well.
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The habit I struggled with most was Put First Things First. For years, I believed being busy meant I was being productive. I filled my calendar because it made me feel important. It took me a long time to realise that a full diary doesn’t always mean meaningful work. Even today, I have to remind myself of that lesson.
Think Win-Win changed the way I built relationships. I stopped seeing disagreements as something to win and started looking for solutions that genuinely worked for everyone involved. It changed the way I hired, the way I resolved conflict, and eventually the way I coached leaders.
The habit I still return to most often is Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. Listening before speaking sounds simple. Living it is not. That single habit taught me empathy, and years later it remains one of the most important lessons I share with the senior leaders I coach.
Synergise reminded me that the best ideas rarely belong to one person. They emerge when people feel heard, respected and safe enough to contribute. And Sharpen the Saw taught me something I still believe deeply today, that no one else is responsible for your growth. That habit pushed me towards HR certifications, continuous learning and, eventually, executive coaching. Looking back, I realise it wasn’t really teaching me to collect qualifications. It was teaching me to invest in myself.
By the time I became a manager in 2013, I could no longer tell which ideas were Covey’s and which had simply become the way I thought. I think that’s what great books do. They quietly become part of who you are.
As my life changed, the books that guided me changed too. Years later, when I stepped into coaching, I found myself carrying a different kind of fear. Did I really belong here. Did I have the right to guide people who were further along in their careers than I was. Around that time, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle found me, and it arrived exactly when I needed it.
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It helped me realise that most of my stress wasn’t coming from what was happening around me. It was coming from my own mind, replaying yesterday or worrying about tomorrow. For the first time, the conversation inside my head became quieter, and coaching stopped feeling like work or selling. I realised that I was becoming a coach. More importantly, I began learning how to stay calm under pressure, not because life had become easier, but because I was learning to settle what was happening within me.
Then life tested everything I thought I had learned. I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and suddenly all those sentences I had underlined over the years were no longer inspiring ideas. They became my mantras for daily practice. Accept what I cannot control. Stay present with today’s treatment instead of fearing what will happen next. Keep showing up instead of allowing fear to take over. Only then did I realise those books had been preparing me long before I knew I would need them.
Around the same time, I read Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen. One sentence after another made me pause. Sitting in a hospital chair, I realised I had spent years chasing fulfilment through achievements, titles and outcomes, yet peace had never been waiting somewhere outside me. It had always been there. I just hadn’t stopped long enough to notice.
That realisation changed more than my thinking. It changed how I now work with leaders who are navigating change, uncertainty and transition. So often we search outside ourselves for confidence, clarity or purpose, only to discover they were quietly waiting within us all along.
Looking back, I realise I have been mentored by many people. Some sat across the table from me. Some challenged me through coaching. And some I only ever met through the pages of a book, late at night, when the world had gone quiet.
If Stephen Covey, Eckhart Tolle and Joseph Nguyen were sitting in front of me today, I wouldn’t thank them for giving me answers. I’d thank them for teaching me how to ask better questions, because those questions eventually became my own answers. Their books never told me how to live. They simply helped me discover a way of living that is uniquely mine.
When I first picked up 7 habits in 2006, I had no idea it would still be shaping the leader, coach and person I am almost two decades later. And perhaps that’s what the best books do. They don’t change your life overnight. They quietly change the person who is living it.
Is there a book that has quietly become a mentor in your life? I’d genuinely love to hear about it.
Usha Nagrani – Executive Leadership Coach
#UshaRunsHerOwnRace
Usha Nagrani, an HR Leader turned ICF Executive Coach, empowers senior management professionals and business leaders to achieve breakthroughs as expats, build cross-cultural teams, and navigate the exciting journey of career acceleration.
