November 2025.
The chemo was done. The surgery was done. The radiation was done. My body was finding its rhythm again. And for the first time in almost a year, I had space to think.
I sat with that space for a while. Not rushing to fill it. Just sitting.
And when I looked back at the year that had passed, two things became very clear.
The first, I have no control over how my life shapes. But I have full power over how I show up in it. Whether at work, at home, in my coaching, or in my own healing.
The second, despite not chasing anything in 2025, my bank balance was better than the year before. And more than that, I was more content, more at ease, more myself. That stopped me.
Because I had spent years chasing. Chasing the next role. The next achievement. The next proof that I was enough. And the year I stopped chasing completely, things came anyway.
Reflecting back, I realised something in that quiet November moment. When we stop chasing, life starts arriving, as we finally have room to receive it.
I was tired of being sick. Tired of pausing. Tired of waiting to feel ready before I started living again. So in that moment I made a decision. No more feeling sorry for myself.
The Straw That Saved Me — What Cancer Taught Me About Leading Through Pressure
It was time to come back. Not to who I was before cancer, but to who I had become because of it. As my doctors said, it is my new normal. And I chose to own it.
I understood my boundaries and started treating myself with love and care. For the first time in my life, I gave myself permission to rest when I was tired. That meant resting after office was fine. Taking a nap in the evening was not a sign of weakness, it meant recharging my body. All my adult life I had thought of resting during the day or evening as weakness. But I realised this was the clue my body was giving me. And I responded.
Soon I had the energy to recoup and was able to focus back on myself and my coaching profession. I went back to my coach Saloni and booked a session with her.
It was a refreshing experience. Talking to her felt so incredible. And as always, she made me realise something about my newly found strength, resilience. That through the power of coaching, even through the darkest chapter of my life, I had reinvented myself. I was now a resilient person who had gone through so much, yet appeared smiling and positive.
Saloni gave me an idea, to write and express myself, and to use this experience to help others. What I had experienced, no one else had in the same way. And the way I had managed myself through it all, a lot of people could learn from that.
At first I just listened. I did not oppose or respond. I let it sink in.
Then, reflecting on it, I realised what Saloni was saying made complete sense. It was very much what I would love to do. I want to tell everyone how I managed myself during that time, what helped me, and what others can learn from it.
So I decided, I am going to write about my dark days and let other people find the light in them. It felt ironic at the time, but still possible.
Later, I learned that I can turn my darkness into someone else’s light and hope.
How I turned that decision into actual words on a page, what followed surprised even me. The first thing I wrote. The first person it reached. That is for the next blog. Because what happened next, I never saw coming.
Now I want to hear from you. What is the darkest chapter of your life teaching you right now? Tell me in the comments.
With love,
Usha Nagrani, Executive and Leadership Coach
Usha Nagrani, an HR Leader turned ICF Executive Coach, empowers senior management professionals and business leaders to achieve breakthroughs as expats, build cross-cultural teams, and navigate the exciting journey of career acceleration.
